I agree with Beverleymay,
I think married should be seperated from defacto.
I've been married to the same person for 42 years.
I am so sick of seeing this married/defacto discussion.
It's the same thing.
I've been defactoed to the same person for 33 years.
DITTO JULIE....
The subject has worn out people...get over it....can we PLEASE find another subject to BASH!!!!
Get a life!! two people living toghether, have the same rights after 6 months. I can't believe that so many people are so thick skinned. Married signing a piece of paper, spending thousands on a wedding, which incidently could be used more productively. De facto, living together making all the same committments as a married couple and not wasting thousands on a wedding only to see it go down the gurgler when it doesnt work out. What a waste of cash. OK lets see how many De facto couples are still together after x amount of years and Married who stays 'married the longest.
By the way I am divorced, have been for 30 odd years, do I know call myself single, now I have reverted back to my maiden name.. ?
It's not "snobby" to be married, it just means we are more committed. It's not just a piece of paper. I lived with my fiancee before getting married and the day after we got married everything changed. I guess it's because you know that commitment is now "for real" and is enforced by a court of law, you need to go through alot of hassle to undo it. If you are living defacto, you can just walk away without any consequences.
I too wish they would put defacto and married separately. And fyi my wedding was at the registry so it didn't cost me anything.
If people are happy being defacto fine, just don't lump me in the same category.
Lynne, I have to disagree with you on this. Being married is more than just a piece of paper, it is a committment that you have made to your lifrtime partner. In a defacto relationship you can just walk away and "bugger" the consequences but in a marrage you have something to work for. I have been married now for near on 52 years and my wife is the mother of our children, the grandmother of their children and most of all my BEST MATE and the 1 thing that makes it all worth while.
Yes I would rather see the two items split because we made the committment, those in a relationship have not.
Just because you have a piece of paper saying you are married does not mean that you are more committed than others.
I know plenty of married people who are totally uncommitted to their partners and have no hesitation in cheating on their spouse (just as I'm sure as many in defacto relationships do) but my point is committment is not a piece of paper its an emotional & moral state of mind which is not exclusive to married people alone.
By the way I was married for 14 years so I am not against marriage, but I can assure you it certainly isn't an indication of committment!
As someone who was married for 7 years and has now been in a de facto relationship for 9 years, I feel I have the right to say there is absolutely no difference between the two marital status'. For those who say it is easier to "walk away" from a de facto relationship - that is rubbish! There is exactly the same legally binding issues that must be dealt with - financially, relating to children and otherwise - let alone emotional issues. The ONLY difference is that you have to seek a divorce - which in this day and age, trust me, is extremely easy to come by. I can see the argument on the "commitment" point but you don't know people's financial circumstances, so to judge based on this is ignorant. Weddings these days are very expensive and registry offices are not for everyone. Personally, I am currently in a situation where we could afford to have our first child OR have a wedding - and frankly, making that decision was a no brainer. And when our child is born, we will have the wedding - and trust me, it will be a big one! But I don't for one second believe that will make us any more committed than we are now. I've been there before and there is absolutely no difference.
And I do believe there is a level of snobbery to those married people who don't like being "lumped in" with us de factos. You don't like to be seen as illegitimate - I say get over it! Those with a piece of paper as no better than those of us without. Maybe some of our relationships are even stronger!
People who are married definitely do not have any more commitments than those that are in a de facto relationship. The high divorce rate proves that people are just as willing to leave marriages.
I'm in a de facto relationship and have been for 6 years. I have shown my commitment to my partner by buying a house with him. In my eyes, that shows a much greater commitment than a religious ceremony and a piece of paper. I find it insulting to constantly hear otherwise
What difference does it make!!! Defacto or Married. Each couple in either situation is living together. In case anyone is wondering I am married and have been for over 11 years.
Can everyone who has a problem with the listing on the serveys GET OVER IT!!!!!! If it bothers you that much DON'T DO THE SERVEYS!!! It's that simple.